I'm bored....and thinking about wayyyyy too much stuff. That mainly being, what else in a girl's mind, boys. When I'm bored, I think about how lonely I am. And when I think about how lonely I am, I get sad. All of my friends are packing up and leaving for Mizzou or some other school, while I'm stuck in STL being all depressed. Sometimes I really regret choosing to go to Maryville. I REALLLLLY wish I went with Mizzou. But I had to be 'smart' and choose the school that had freshmen entry for the program/major I'm in; while at Mizzou it's super competitive. But I still want to the big school experience. My school has only 3,000 something students while Mizzou has 30,000. We don't have Greek Life or a 5 mile campus. Sigh. I need to stop regretting. I really do love Maryville. I love being in the Occupational Therapy program and that's what I need to keep telling myself. I didn't make a lot of friends because of 2 major reasons. 1) I chose to room with my best friend which for me, was great, but for my social life, not so great. 2) I can't believe I'm saying this in public...but I suffer from clinical depression and take medication for it. I got put on the meds around November, and at the time the damage had been done. When I was not talking with Becca or with her, I was locked in my dorm room just laying in my bed having no motivation to go out or meet new people. Not the best way to start freshmen year of college. Only 2 people outside of my immediate family know that I'm on medication for depression and it's not something that I'm at all proud of. I don't like having to take pills that make me happy. I still have relapses, even on the medication but they're not as bad when I'm not. Not nearly as bad. I'm really happy almost no one read this. I may delete this post because I don't like people knowing.
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